Let’s face it. We can all be a jerk sometimes.
It doesn’t feel good for us or for anyone around us.
I find that usually if I’m being a jerk, it means there’s something I’m afraid of that’s causing me to act that way.
My best example of this is the times in the past that I’ve been a jerk to my boyfriend because I felt intimidated by other women.
This is something I’m much better with nowadays (thank god), but I used to struggle with jealousy in a big way. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it was really difficult for me to handle my boyfriend being around other women. It was fear. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be as good as them. I was afraid that he’d like them better than he liked me. And because of that fear, if I knew he was going to be around other women, I’d turn into a total jerk.
When you’re being a jerk, I want you to stop and think about these three things:
- Is there something you’re afraid of that’s causing you to act this way?
Maybe you’re afraid your boyfriend will like someone else more than he likes you. Maybe you’re afraid that the person you’re talking to will think you’re stupid. Find whatever the fear is.
- Now think to yourself, is this fear a possibility or a probability?
Is it possible your boyfriend could like someone else better and leave you for them? Sure. Anything is possible. But is it probable? Is he the kind of guy that’s just going to up and leave like that? If so, maybe he’s not the best guy to be dating. But if he’s not that kind of guy, then what you’re afraid of isn’t actually probable.
- Think about a time where you were afraid, and things worked out totally fineLike that one time you weren’t sure if you were speeding, and a cop got right behind you but ended up turning on the next street. You were definitely afraid, but it worked out just fine.
Now I want you to do two more things:
- Sit down and write this out five times:
“No point in worrying. It’s much more fun to be okay about stuff”
- Go ahead and apologize to whoever you were being a jerk to.
Even if it was only yourself. Apologizing isn’t easy, and it’s not even always received well. That’s okay. It’s an important and meaningful gesture. It’s important to acknowledge when we’ve been behaving in an unfair way, and it’s important to make sure others (or ourselves) know that we understand that our behavior wasn’t okay and that we intend to do better.
We can all be a jerk sometimes. Owning up to our behavior and being as mindful about it as we can is what matters the most. Always strive to bring awareness to your thoughts, words and actions. Because it will help you build a healthier and happier relationship with yourself and with those around you.
Until Next Time,
Keep Calm and Grow On